I'm not in love
by hazelra7
Summary: One Shot. Sheldon is NOT in love with Amy Farrah Fowler. He's not! he's not! he's not! Written in Sheldon's point of view. Not related to current season. Quick little one shot I thought up when listening to the song, "I'm not in Love" By 10cc.


_**Author's notes: Please read this short one shot while listening to the song, "I'm not in love" By 10cc. I know most of the young ones will not recognize this 1970's cheesy music, but I heard it the other day, and couldn't get Sheldon out of my head. And as always please review!**_

I am Homo Novus. I have mastered my mind, my base urges. My mind is evolved and has out grown emotions that distract lesser men. I am above petty emotions. I have stated this simple fact to my band of ignorant friends. Why do I have to repeat this! Do they ever listen? I only have so much energy to waste on their constant education. It really is exhausting. There is very little I don't understand, but I don't know why this is so hard to remember: I am Homo Novus. I don't know what Leonard is talking about. He rudely eavesdrop on one innocent phone call with one Amy Farrah Fowler and he is waxing poetic and mocking me. I have had it with his innuendos!

"You got it bad, Sheldon."

"I got what Leonard? I'm not sick. Oh God, is there something going around? Did you wash your hands after visiting Penny? You know she walks into a cesspool of germs every time she goes into that restaurant. Who knows how often she washes her man-ish hands…"

"No Sheldon, you got it bad: Love. You're so in love with Amy!"

"Leonard, please. Just because I call her doesn't mean I am in love. As I have stated on numerous occasions: I am above such petty distracting emotions. So don't forget it. I'm not in love. Love? Please! I think you are deflecting because I mentioned Penny."

"Well, Mr. Homo Novus, you call her everyday, you smile every time the phone rings and it's her on the other line. You two have been dating for 3 years, it was going to happen sometime."

"Just because I enjoy her company, doesn't mean I am in love, Leonard."

"You increased your date nights to once a week. You kiss her all the time, even in public. You even have her picture on your desk at work."

"The frame hides a nasty stain on the desk. I've tried everything to get rid of it. I can't stand looking at that stain, mocking me. The frame covers it perfectly."

"You are lying to yourself, Sheldon. You've changed."

"What are you babbling about? I am the same person now as a year ago, or 3 years ago."

"She's changing you, you're nicer, you're not as much of an ass. Don't get me wrong, Sheldon, I am happy for you, buddy. You really got it bad. I won't be surprised if you're the next of our group to get married."

"Leonard, this conversation has run its course. I will state one more time: I'm not in love."

What did Leonard know? I am Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper. I am above such emotions. Marriage? Not even close or ever! My relationship with her has been distracting me from my routine, lately. Perhaps I am changing. This is unacceptable. I have to end it before it gets any worse. I have to keep focused: Nobel, Nobel, Nobel. I should have broken up with her over that whole table thing. I lost my nerve then, but not now.

"Leonard, I am going out."

_**2 hours later.**_

Knock knock knock, "Amy"

Knock knock knock, "Amy"

Knock knock knock, "Amy"

"Hello Sheldon, this is unexpected!"

Vanilla and cherries. Why did she have to smell so good? Is she smiling? Don't look at her. Don't look at her eyes. Get it out, Cooper. Tell her quickly that you're ending it.

"Amy, I need to speak with you. I am sorry for my unannounced visit. May I have a beverage?" She always has the best beverages. Penny only has spoiled milk and cheap wine. Oh, good, Yoohoo. I love Yoohoo. OH, right _love_. I'm not in love…

"Thank you Amy, look I just have to get this out. I think we should break up. I have been distracted lately and my schedule cannot accommodate our increase in visits. However, I still want to see you, so don't make a big deal about it."

"I see… So I assume then we will remain friends? And only see each other when necessary?"

Is she crying? No, she's not. Just that spark in her green eyes is fading. No tears, not yet. Good. I can't handle tears. She really is a remarkable woman. Focus Cooper:

"Yes, I think that would work. But I still will consider daily communication. I am flexible when it comes to Skype calls as well. I like to see you, but it doesn't mean we are in a relationship."

"What brought this on, Sheldon? Did someone say something to you? Did Penny tell you what I told her?"

"No, I was talking to Leonard, not Penny. Why what would she have said? What did you tell Penny? I'd appreciate it if you didn't discuss our relationship with your friends."

'It doesn't matter now."

"Please tell me." She knows I need closure. Why would see hold out information from me?

"I told her that I was in love with you. I thought that would scare you off. I guess I was right."

Good, she's looking away from me. But she is shaking now. OH, boy.

"Amy, I'm not in love. I'm not. I'm sorry. I'm not wired that way. You can't wait for me. It would be too long."

"I would have waited, Sheldon. I would have…"

"I'm not in love, Amy. I'm not." She's sad now. I have to get out of here. I can't handle her crying.

"I will send you the termination notice today. Good bye Amy Farrah Fowler." I have to get out there. She is going to cry, I know it. I can't look at her.

Good, I made it. I just need to catch my breath. I just need a moment. I'll just lean against the wall here. Last time I will probably be at this door, 314. I love that number. I just need a moment. Maybe if I put my head between my knees. I can't catch my breath. Maybe Leonard can pick me up? What is this water on my face, is it raining? But it's inside? It was just a drop. There's another.

She'll be okay, she'll be fine. We are better having a relationship of the mind. No distractions, no more mocking by Leonard. "I'm in love!" Ha! I'm not in love! I'm not!

_**3 days later**_

It's been 3 days. Didn't she not understand I still wanted to talk to her? No calls, no text, no Skype. I tried calling no less than 42 times. Nothing. Leonard is as exhausting as Penny for the last 3 days. All their pop psychology on how I am in denial is ridiculous. They aren't telling me anything about Amy either. I just want to see her, it doesn't mean anything. How can they not understand that I'm not in love? It's just a phase I am going through. I just wanted to see her. It means nothing.

_**5 Days later**_

Finally, I talked to her. She was distant and got off the phone within a minute, but at least I heard her voice. This has been a transition week. We are going from the relationship to friends. It just a phase. It will pass. Just because she said she couldn't talk to me anymore doesn't mean she's serious. It doesn't mean I won't' see her again. We will see each other at work. This is just an alteration to our relationship. Nothing more. She just needs time. She is as evolved as I am. She has just been hoodwinked by the Nebraska waitress who has corrupted her mind with useless emotions. Love? Silly. Amy is not in love. I'm not in love.

_**8 days later**_

She's going back to UCLA. She is thinking of quitting Cal Tech. She hasn't been around the group at all. Penny says it is too hard for her. She is in love with me. I don't believe it. I can't deal with that. I'm not in love. I miss her, but I'm not in love. I just need to see her. If she goes to UCLA, I won't be able to see her at all. I still have her picture. I hope she doesn't ask for it back. I mean, it doesn't mean that much to me, but I need to cover that stain. That's all. That stain, I think about it all the time. Amy's picture is covering it, but it constantly mocking me, begging for my eyes. I look at it no less than 30 times a day. I think I need a new desk.

_**10 days later**_

My doctor is an idiot. I told him I am having Chest pains. He does all these expensive tests and finds nothing? There has to be something! People don't have chest pains for no reason! I told him I am not eating either. He starting asking me about my personal life. What does that have to do with anything? What a quack. At least I don't have to deal with Leonard, Raj and Wolowitz anymore. I told them to stay away until I recover from this cardiovascular scare. I get my new desk tomorrow.

_**2 weeks later**_

The new desk is not helping. I know where the stain used to be, like phantom pain. I look at the spot all day now. I kept Amy's picture there to keep continuity. Amy might be going to UCLA in a month. I haven't heard a word from her. She is still seeing Penny, but now she will barely talk to me either. More estrogen based hysterical babbling about denial and love. I will have to see Penny tonight and have to endure another lecture on how I am feeling. I am getting a little sick of other people telling me what I feel. I am Homo Novus, I am above emotions. I have to state this at least 10 times a day, "I'm not in love". I have other problems to deal with right now. I am sick and have been for weeks. I think I might allergic to my new cats. My eyes are watering all the time and that pain in my chest is worse. It must be a histamine reaction. It is especially bad when I am at my desk at work. This fact is not conducive to my theory about the cats, however. I don't have any cats at work.

_**15 Days later**_

My mother treats me like a child. How many times do I have to tell her, I am not crying. Big boys don't cry. Big boys don't cry. Big boys don't cry. I am just sick, that is all. She should spend less time telling me I am in love with Amy and more time worrying about my sickness. It is getting bad now. The pain in my chest is constant. I can't sleep, I can't eat. My eyes are watering all the time and not just when I look at my desk. Amy sent back her tiara. I thought she should have it and I tried to call her to tell her that. She won't return my calls. There must have been something in the packing material of the box she sent. I had one of the worse episodes when I saw it.

_**17 days later**_

I have to see her. I just can't leave it like this. I know it's my closure issues, but I have to see her. When I talk to her she will see we can be friends. We can still talk and see each other. She doesn't have to move to Westwood, she can stay in Glendale. Moving is such a disruption to her life. She should keep her apartment in Glendale. Westwood is so expensive and it loaded with booze crazy undergrads. Here is her door. 314 again. I missed that number.

_**17.3 days later**_

Just because I kissed her doesn't mean anything. I couldn't think what to say when she answered the door. All I saw was her green eyes flashing in wonderment as I stood at her door. Vanilla and cherries assaulting my senses; the aromas clouded my brain. I couldn't tell her all the things I practiced on the bus ride over: How she shouldn't move. How we can still be friends. I just wanted to see her. It must have been the sickness I had that clouded my brain. As soon as I saw her, I just reached for her face with both my hands and pulled her into a kiss. And then another and another. I couldn't stop. She didn't even seem to mind my histamine reactions; she just gently wiped them off my face with her thumb. She seemed to like that I brought back her tiara. I didn't ask her, I just put it on her head. She looked stunning in it again. I just want her to have it. As soon as I pulled away to look at her to speak, I got distracted by her eyes.

I might have given her my sickness, she was having a histamine reaction as well. I pulled her into another kiss and another. She didn't seem to mind that I couldn't talk. I pulled her by the waist and held her flush with my body while I kept kissing her. Seeing as I already infected her with the sickness, the damage was done. I probably should have asked before I started to take off her cardigan, but she didn't seem to mind. She kept her apartment so hot anyway. When she moved to the couch, I felt better. My knees were shaking. Kissing her made me feel better; strange that action would elevate my symptoms. In fact, every time I touch her I feel better. She smells so good. Her hair is so shiny, her breath feels so good on my neck. I just want to feel every inch of her. She stops though. She isn't letting me kiss her anymore. She is just holding me. This is nice. So comfortable. I really should say something. Maybe tomorrow. Yawn… Just a few minutes rest in her arms. I just need to catch my breath.

_**10CC I'm not in love**_

_**I'm not in love, so don't forget it**__**  
**__**It's just a silly phase I'm going through**__**  
**__**And just because I call you up**__**  
**__**Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made.**_

_**I'm not in love, no, no**__**  
**__**(It's because)**__**I like to see you, but then again**__**  
**__**That doesn't mean you mean that much to me**__**  
**__**So if I call you, don't make a fuss**__**  
**__**Don't tell your friends about the two of us**_

_**I'm not in love, no, no**__**  
**__**(It's because)**_

_**Be quiet, big boys don't cry**__**  
**__**Big boys don't cry**__**  
**__**Big boys don't cry**__**  
**__**Big boys don't cry**__**Big boys don't cry**__**  
**__**Big boys don't cry**_

_**I keep your picture upon the wall**__**  
**__**It hides a nasty stain that's lying there**__**  
**__**So don't you ask me to give it back**_

_**I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me**_

_**I'm not in love, no, no**__**  
**__**(It's because)**_

_**Oooh, you'll wait a long time for me**__**  
**__**Oooh, you'll wait a long time**__**  
**__**Oooh, you'll wait a long time for me**__**  
**__**Oooh, you'll wait a long time**_

_**I'm not in love, so don't forget it**__**  
**__**It's just a silly phase I'm going through**__**  
**__**And just because I call you up**__**  
**__**Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made**_

_**I'm not in love**__**  
**__**I'm not in love!**_


End file.
